Dealing with Disappointment

Six months ago Darling #2 (Miss Tay) was privileged to make it onto a team of singers, dancers and musicians, otherwise known as the high school show choir. Over the course of their season the kiddos were grateful to “slam dunk” several events.

Oh the sweet taste of success!

This past weekend marked their final competition. The tide turned.They did incredibly well but it wasn’t what they had hoped for.

Oh, the bitter taste of disappointment.

So what does one do when life throws a disappointing curve?

We’ve all been there. Loss of a job. Loss of a relationship. Loss of a dream. The past couple of days have afforded me the opportunity to think through disappointment and it has taken this DoAhead down the following path: {Don’t judge…just bein’ real.}

“IT’S NOT FAIR.”

EQUITY is something we all appreciate. When the scales of “justice” seem tipped it’s natural for one’s nose to become disjointed.

“BUT THEY WORKED SO HARD.”

ENTITLEMENT raised an ugly head here. It’s easy to justify that A + B should = C. There’s a “rightness” about pouring one’s guts into something and hoping, even expecting, good things in return. Most of us would agree that when you work hard positive results should follow. The principle runs so deep in our culture a phrase has been coined to reflect the assumption that hard work will result in the ownership of something valued. It’s called sweat equity.

“DISAPPOINTMENT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD.”

ENJOYMENT is the state or process of taking pleasure in something. (Google.com). Few of us take pleasure in disappointment. Does this observation need further comment?

The thoughts and emotions above manifested themselves in my daughter and I the past two days. Of course, disappointments in life can prompt a gazillion other responses. I’ve only listed few.

But there’s more to the story.

No matter how thin the pancake it still has two sides. And let me tell ya…

Disappointment has two sides.

Living through the “unfair” in life cultivates mental toughness. Plain and simple our response is a choice. I’m certain when Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble” He knew better than anyone that lack of equity would run rampant. If ever there was an example of how to embrace unfairness with character and dignity it would be in the life of Christ. I can deal with unfair my way or the high way. No one demonstrated this better than Jesus.

The problem with entitlement isn’t the wish for a desired outcome. The problem (speaking for myself) is that I desire too little. I can forget that the greatest “prize” has nothing to do with what exterior gain I (or those I love) will attain. The real prize is the work done within. It’s the intangibles like character and state of the heart that are paramount. It’s crazy how the most important things are the whispers that happen inside of us. The clanging gong of seven foot trophies or accolades from peers can insidiously drown out that which is of greater consequence.

The matter of “fun” has been a little harder to process. I consider myself a fairly mature woman but I like to have fun! I have yet to embrace suffering. If you’re thinking, “Get over yourself! It was just a competition! You call that suffering!” You’re right. In part. Every situation in life demands perspective. But a “punched in the stomach” disappointment resonates in all of us. The question remains. What do we do with it?

Last week a friend said to me, “God will not protect us from that which will perfect us.”

Loss and disappointment are not fun, but perhaps we were never meant to be “protected” from life’s disappointments. How comforting it is to know that whatever we’re dealing with, it is filtered through the hands of a Father that sees the big picture. And He is our biggest fan! He’s cheering for us. It’s just that His ways aren’t our ways and there will be days the disappointment doesn’t make sense. But perhaps it doesn’t have to. Perhaps, that’s the whole point. Disappointments in life are often the very tools that turn us toward the only real source of met hopes and expectations.

That’s it dear DoAheads. A few lessons learned from a “loser” looking to live life inspired. I’m realizing that sometimes the most inspiring moments are the ones that work their way from the bottom up!

“…and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Rom. 5:5 NASB

“There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” Rom 5:3-5 MSG