He Loves Me~He Loves Me Not?

Our remodel progresses. Unfortunately, the dark room left me unaware of the two-by-four that had made its precarious home on top of our fireplace mantle. I walked into it. Complete and total face plant. Smack! I reeled——–but not from pain. The curse word that flew out of my mouth is what really knocked me over.

Suddenly I was grateful for the dark. I didn’t have to make eye contact with my husband. The dark cloaked how ashamed I was. Of course none of it was hidden from my heavenly Father.

The back of my brain echoed, “He loves me not.”

My Best Yes Bible study lent conviction to a “no” I felt I needed to pursue. It’s too bad I hadn’t already gotten to the chapter on “The Awkward Disappointment of Saying No.” Honestly, it was worse. I was thinking perhaps I needed a chapter title that read, “Steeling Yourself for Feeling like a Scum-bucket.”

I pondered as to whether or not I’d let this person down. Truthfully, they were fine. Me? Not so much. Waves of guilt left me wondering if I’d disappointed them as well as God.

“He loves me not.”

Have you ever been there?

The third generation addiction in your family has you in a stranglehold. A stronger, more faith-filled woman would have beat it.

“He loves me not.”

Your single status screams rejection to family members and peers. Why hasn’t God delivered a spouse?

“He loves me not.”

Your chronically ill loved one is finally healed as they leave this home for heaven. But deep down you doubt God’s love as you wonder, “Why couldn’t the healing have taken place here and now?”

“He loves me not.”

The deceiver lies. The enemy is sly and subtle. I want so badly to see through clear glass…to see myself as God sees me but the glass is covered with spittle from the one who slithers in and out of my head. He hisses seeds of doubt regarding who I am in Christ.

God. Abba. Father. Papa. The one who formed us and filled our veins with blood. The one who redeemed us and covered us with his blood. Blood that blots out every transgression and shortcoming. Every meditated and accidental sin is covered in red.

A curse word slips from an overwhelmed heart through unrestrained lips.

“He loves me not!”

A heart weighs heavy with the burden of disappointing another.

“He loves me not!”

The defeating chains of addiction hold hard.

“He loves me not!”

Misconceptions regarding single-hood sabotage fulfillment.

“He loves me not!”

Loss of a loved one fodders loss in loving the One.

“He loves me not!”

There is no other love like this.

When we grasp this, even a touch of it, we’re changed. We realize——–

Our failures don’t define us, they refine us.

Each bruise, bump, hiccup, fall or stumble are yet another opportunity for us to revel in the wonder of Christ’s love and the power of His blood.

If you have just a moment I pray you’ll revel in this truth while listening to the song below.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 ESV

Add to your inspiration this weekend by hopping over to Suzie Eller’s #livefree community! You’ll find that you and I are not alone…continued encouragement is one click away! 🙂

Your DoAhead Friend,