Worship. What a beautiful thing. And so my honest admission pains me. I used to struggle with worship.

My hidden, unutterable thought, was “What kind of a God wants to be worshiped?” As I wrestled with this I realized I didn’t struggle with worship…I struggled with the fear that I would be disappointed in God’s character. Any person I’d ever met that wanted to be worshiped had never been a person I wanted to spend much time with. 

Just so you know…I grew up Lutheran. Few folks do guilt better than a Lutheran. Guilt the size of an overstuffed quilt would cover me. How could such a thought even enter my brain? But there it was. My hidden conversations with God went something like this:

Lord. You know I love you. I believe in you. And you know how hard this is to admit. But I don’t get it. What exactly do you mean by worship? And if it’s what I think it is does that still make you a good guy?

Bottom line? It wasn’t what I thought it was. I came to terms with my understanding (or more like lack of understanding) regarding worship over time. It wasn’t an instant shift from one view to another. It was more like a wooing.

I don’t know a better way to explain it other than to say that over time, the evidence of His presence in my life and His tender mercies towards me…Won. Me. Over.

• His provision during financially difficult times was like a lover leaving a note on the windshield.
• His creation of three children after years of infertility was His text message followed by three heart emoji’s.
• Unexplained peace during a loved one’s journey through terminal illness was His rose discreetly placed on my pillow.

It wasn’t a matter of Him giving me something I wanted and so I worshiped. On the contrary. There were plenty of prayers that weren’t answered according to plan. (*Ahem.  My plan anyway.)

Rather, He gave me something better. He gave me Himself. The end result?

Worship!

I learned to worship…adore…rely and trust the One who was always there for me.

Triumphs and celebrations.

Loss and defeat.

The Faithful One made Himself known. NO MATTER WHAT.

I have grown to adore Him.  But even more amazing is that He adores me!

Friend, if you’ve ever wondered/struggled with this business of worship may I make a suggestion?

Take a deep breath. And then be honest.

Tell Him where you’re at in your own worship journey. I promise He’ll meet you wherever you are!

“It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” John 4:23-24 MSG

{Be sure to hop over to Suzie Eller’s #livefree today for more thoughts on worship!}

Your DoAhead Friend,

Cindy