Can't Help My Selfie - DoAhead Woman

Can’t help my selfie or anybody elsie. That’s where I landed this morning. To be clear, it wasn’t a “cat-fell-from-the-tree” BUT “hit-the-ground-on-his-feet” kind of landing.

Nope.

It was more like a ship run amuck by an enormous reef. I believe the word for that is ship-wrecked.

A wreck.

That was me this morning. I’m not even sure why. The issue at hand has been there for months. Heck, maybe years. It’s just that sometimes an old thing can hit you in a new way. All of a sudden you see it like it’s the first time.

The back story to this is a five letter word spelled P.R.I.D.E.

I swear the nasty bugger is like a maniacal virus. I think I’m cured because it’s been dormant for a time. But before I know it the sucker re-surfaces and I’m looking at a pock-faced woman.

Pride tells her to hide in shame…she can’t fix this thing. The other strain of pride is as bad or worse. It whispers, “You can do this. Try harder. Love deeper. Speak wiser. If you parent right they’ll turn out OK.”

I’m beginning to hate pride. Maybe that’s a good thing.

This morning I knelt on the floor ready to intercede for the people and things I’m passionate about…again. The same old thing made my heart weary with the same old request.

You’ve been there too. I know it. Maybe you’re there right now.

The job termination that’s been looming for a year and the prayer that the “axe won’t fall.”
The husband that continuously comes home late and you pray it’s not for the reason you think it is.
Self-esteem that falls as weight rises and you pray that this will be the diet that works.
A loved one making choices that left unchecked will hurt them, and so you pray.

And you pray.

And you pray.

Sure, we may do other stuff. We honor our marriages, we work hard at our jobs, we take responsibility for self-care and we love and mentor the misguided.

But this morning I was reminded that if I’m not careful, I begin to think that what I DO (including the act of intercessory prayer) will somehow be the thing that makes it all better.

I (foolishly) think the health of my marriage is all about me, the future of my job hinges totally on what I do, my health goals are completely dependent upon my own self-discipline and…

The choices made by people I love are somehow, in some crazy way, all about me.

The insanity of that becomes clear as I type it.

“How stupid.”

But the real insanity is this, without meaning too, I allow those thoughts to float like bubbles in my brain day in and day out. No wonder I can’t think straight. {I still can’t find the candle that I was carrying across the living room three weeks ago.} It’s hard to focus on daily tasks when the head and heart are consumed with worry fueled by pride that the outcome is on me.

This morning God said, “Enough.”

I laid out some of my favorite verses. Wondering, “Which one should I pray today?” (Can you glimpse the pride in my heart? If you can’t see it let me spell out what was perfectly clear to God.) “I’m sure if I find just the right verse and pray it with just the right degree of fervency God will hear and act on my behalf.”

In that moment, I’m certain God decided it was time to deal with the five letter word I’ve been talking about.

I didn’t need an oral antibiotic. No. I needed a shot of the strong stuff. The cure that the nurse says will pinch as she injects it in your hip but it feels way more like a painful kick in the butt.

Sometimes that’s what we need…a kick in the butt. Verse after verse landed in front of me. The words He put before me had nothing to do with the person I was convicted to pray for. No.

Today the patient was me.

“The battle is not yours but God’s.” 2 Chronicles 20:15

“Our God is the God who saves…” Psalm 68:19-20

“I’ll go ahead of you, clearing and paving the road, I’ll break down bronze city gates, smash padlocks, kick down barred entrances.” Is. 45:2

“I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.” Psalm 39:7

And finally:

“Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down, in complete dependence on me—the very thing you’ve been unwilling to do.” Is. 30:15

My ship’s been pulled into the harbor. If feels safe. Even if a storm comes I know it will be OK because…

I was never meant to save my selfie or anybody elsie.

How about you? Do you have a concern or burden that needs to be released into His capable hands? I encourage you to do it dear friend. Pull your boat into His harbor. Anchor next to me. We’ll run a plank between our ships and share cheese and crackers all the while giving thanks to a good and mighty God.

Sidebar:

Today’s post was spurred by a word prompt from a dear friend (I call her friend but truthfully she’s more of a mentor—— even when she doesn’t mean to be. It’s a wonderful thing when God puts people like that into your life.)

God has given me an amazing gift in my “call to blog” and that gift has been community. I cannot tell you how encouraged I am to “meet” women from all over the globe that are passionate in their love for Christ and the way it manifests itself in every day life. Today I’d like to invite you into more of that community.

You will want to visit Suzie at her website. Friends, I promise you’ll find food for your soul.

Suzanne Eller: Leading Women in a New Direction