I Need You to Knead Me

I whipped the Rhodes Cinnamon rolls out of the oven. For a tiny moment I felt like a reincarnated Martha Stewart. Can you see my tribe’s shiny faces and upturned lips? They stroll into the kitchen grateful for breakfast served from a cheap foil pan. And then a voice whispers…

“Remember your mother’s rolls? Now those were cinnamon rolls.”

In a nanosecond, I see her hands kneading dough. She shapes and bakes. My sis and I imbibe. They. Were. Delicious.

I’m not sure my children will ever taste homemade cinnamon rolls. It’s possible this post will spark a fire in me and I will whip some up. I’m not sure.

However, I am sure of this…thoughts of kneading have stayed with me, but for reasons that have nothing to do with cinnamon, dough and five extra pounds. No, my recent Martha Stewart moment reminded me of how much I need God to knead me.

Did you know that kneading dough is crucial to creating a premium product? All that pressing, pulling and stretching does something.

If the baker doesn’t knead the dough it will end up flat and tough. Nothing like what it was intended to be. Kneading develops a core ingredient (gluten) in the dough. It strengthens the gluten strands and gives the bread structure. {Thank you allrecipes.com for the tutorial on kneading dough!}

I’ll say it again…

I need to be kneaded.

Case in point:
I was in church the other morning. The songs were stirring. The message was filled with meaning. I tried to focus. But somewhere between Shadrach and Meshach I left the sanctuary.

Before I knew it I was on Shark Tank selling my pitch to O’leary as I tried to get him on board my Haiti project. “But Kevin, these necklaces would look sooooo nice on you.”

“Lord, forgive me. I really do want to hear this. Help me pay attention!”

I need you to knead me.

Later that afternoon I scurry about the kitchen. The cooking is fun but I’m ready to be done. My sweater catches on one of the cabinet handles. Rip goes the garment. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only rip that occurred. A cuss word ripped out of mouth quicker than the conviction that shut it.

“Father, God. I’m sorry. Please help me with my tongue.”

Oh, how I need you to knead me!

I could turn this post into a novel if I thought you really wanted to know every single time this chick trips. But you don’t. And I won’t.

So if I may, I’ll leave you with what He left me with this morning. As I sat by the corn burner, bible in lap, I reflected on my recent “mess-ups”. Just as I was about to go into a “beat myself over the head” routine, the book of Psalms began to massage a truth into my heart:

GOD is sheer mercy and grace;
not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat Cindy as her sins deserve,
nor pay her back in full for her wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
he has separated Cindy from her sins. Psalm 103:7-12

God must have felt I really needed to hear this truth because the kneading didn’t end with Psalms. He continued:

“It does not therefore depend on Cindy’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” Rom 9:16

“How could Cindy miss this? Because instead of trusting God she took over.” Rom 9:30

“Cindy doesn’t seem to realize that this comprehensive setting-things-right that is salvation is God’s business…”Rom 10:3

Words that give life. Words that shape my life. Words that work, press, pull and strengthen the strands to make me the woman He wants me to be. A woman who knows that because of Jesus Christ her failures don’t define her any more than the heavens limit the One who created them.

Man, oh man, am I grateful for cinnamon rolls in a tin can.

How about you?

Is there an area of your life you need to receive an added measure of grace? Re-read the words above and insert your name instead, and then dear friend…Live. Free. {If you’d like to hear from more women on their journey to living free check out my friend, Suzie Eller’s website.}

#livefree