My guy. Oh mercy. If you could only meet my guy. I don’t talk about Him too much in this space. He’s private. Actually a more accurate word would be dignified.
Don’t misunderstand I would never say that the blogosphere lacks dignity, but for those of us (me included) whose planet spins in the blog galaxy, sometime we can be a little too transparent.
Not Doc. He’s got a heart as big as the Grand Canyon but he doesn’t wear it on his sleeve. Perhaps that explains the shift in my own heart when his voice cracked with emotion the other day.
Would you believe that of all things our “deep discussion” was about supper? It’s been Def-Con Cuckoo around here lately. We’ve been living in the basement for over nine months and the remodel that’s going on overhead is escalating. Big time.
Contractors have become part of the family. If we were Bar Mitzvah people these folks would be invited. Having said that the swing of tool belts and herd of workman’s hooves overhead at 7:30 am can tug hard at an already unraveling rope.
The remodel has shown no mercy in terms of deadlines and yet isn’t it funny how the rest of life doesn’t go on hold?
Yours truly has two speaking engagements in May. I’m uber excited. I’m also uber overwhelmed. Consequently, one of the first things to go has been a few evening meals at the table.
And I. Hate.That.
Fast forward to my lament to Doc. “I’m so sorry babe. I really need to finish these revisions and it was a crazy day with the remodel. I don’t have anything prepared for supper tonight.”
He quickly cut me off. “We’re fine. Don’t worry about us, we’ve got this!”
But then he followed by saying something that made me feel like I was falling in love with him for the first time.
He confessed, “I’m lost without you babe.” *Crack in voice.
Following his heartfelt admission, he went on to explain that he genuinely wanted me to work on my talks… but he also wanted me to understand how much he likes doing life together.
Boom.
It was romance over grilled cheese. We were surrounded by sheet rock dust, pounding overhead and no privacy yet somehow (for a solid sixty seconds) the world stopped.
My speaking commitments and the remodel details were swept away. All I wanted to do in that moment was whatever the guy that couldn’t live without me needed.
I only had eyes for him.
His heartfelt admission was like the rush of spring’s first heavy rain. It pushed aside the rubbish at the end of my remarkably plugged downspout and reminded me of how I felt when we first met. Nothing, no one else mattered.
Isn’t it crazy how life can make us forget?
The same thing can happen between me and Jesus. Deadlines, duties…all my imagined and often self-imposed “must- dos” make me forget. But I know, that I know, that I know——– Jesus is my first love.
My prayer?
Jesus, help me take time to hear you. You whisper love to me constantly. You tell me you never want to live without me. The cross bears proof of that.
The constancy of spring blooms testify to your faithfulness
My clean sheets and fridge full of food are over-looked examples of your merciful provision.
Thank you for loving me with a first-kind-of-love. I want to do the same.
Sometimes I just forget——–forgive me Jesus.
How about you?
Has this Martha world robbed you of the Mary-Eyes-Only-For-Jesus kind of life?
Today I’m praying that His Spirit will touch ours and remind us of just how much He cares. I pray we’ll hear the crack in His voice as he whispers His vulnerable desire to be with us.
And then I pray for the miracle of:
- the shift in thinking that causes,
- the shift in feeling that prompts,
- the shift of living life from the perspective of first love.
I pray we experience what Brother Lawrence called “practicing the presence of God”. Intimacy with Him while peeling potatoes. Fellowship with Him while driving to work. Partnership with Him while parenting.
Jesus, thank you for falling-in love with us. Teach us how to daily fall in love with you.
“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
{Be sure to hop over to Suzie Eller’s #livefree community today! Many more thoughts on falling in love with Jesus!}
Your DoAhead Friend,
The phrase that caught my attention in this wonderful piece: “only had eyes for him”
My eyes are everywhere – not that I’m overtly unfaithful to either my husband or Jesus, but . . . am I head over heels every day? Not like I should be. Thanks for this wake up call.
I’m convinced “head over heels” isn’t possible in my own strength. It’s just too easy for my eyes to turn inward! The kicker of course is that when I start to “see”…Jesus in my spouse, Jesus in my kids…just plain Jesus there’s joy. So much joy! My alarm’s been set. Time for me to wake up too! (So glad you stopped!)
Beautiful truth, here, Cindy. Thank you so much! May God bless you.
You as well! Just whispered a prayer for you and the fantabulous day ahead! 🙂
TEARS!!! This is beautiful and powerful, Cindy. I needed this… thank you! #livefreeThursday
Me too friend..oh how I needed it too. Praying your day is FULL of living free!
This morning Richard gathered me in his arms and we just stood there. With his parents in crisis due to alzheimers and lewy body diagnoses, running back and forth between two states, work, ministry, life — we have got a little lost. When he pulled me close, I let those things slide away and just took in the moment. I want to do that with him, and I want that to define my relationship with my Heavenly Father as well. Just stopping, if only for a moment, and realizing the depth of the relationship. Thanks, Cindy, for a beautiful and insightful post. Thank you for linking up on #livefreeThursday. <3
I’m so sorry about the folks. That. Is. Hard. I can almost see the deep breath you must have taken when you were wrapped in that hug. I’ll be offering genuine prayers that there will soon be many more of those to come. 🙂
Def-Con-Cookoo—LOL> cracked me up. I so love your writing Cindy!! Thank you for the encouragement today! xoxo
So glad to “see” you Shannon! Praying you have a wonderful weekend! 🙂
Cindy, enjoyed reading your post. God is using it to nudge me in areas I need nudging!
Feel free to “elbow” me anytime! I’m usually in constant need of nudging! Genuinely grateful for your presence Terri!