Wife and Warrior

Woman with Sword 1

Love and marriage, love and marriage! (Did you sing that?)

Love is in the air this year! 2017 is the year of the wedding for our family, it seems. There are a few very special people in my life who are busy planning and preparing because they are goin’ to the chapel and they’re goin’ to get married. (Ha! Made you sing again!)

I was recently asked to share a devotional at a bridal shower for one of my sweet cousins. Can I share with you what I shared with her? It’s probably nothing most of you haven’t heard before, but as I wrote it, I found it speaking pointedly to me. God has a funny way of working like that, doesn’t He? Perhaps it will serve as an encouragement to some of you…


When God created the universe, He looked at all He had made and saw that it was good. In fact, in Genesis 1, I counted six times throughout the days of creation where it says, “And God saw that it was good.” But there was one time—only one time—that He says exactly the opposite.

Genesis 2:18 says: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

That’s where us ladies came in. We were created by God to be a “help meet” to our husbands.

Help meet.

We don’t really hear those two words used together like that in the English language, do we?

Well, I decided to look it up to find out its meaning and origin. What I could find is that it was translated from the Hebrew expression ezer kenegdo.

The word “help” here comes from the Hebrew word ezer. Every other time this word is used in the Bible it either refers to God or to military allies. It carries the idea of aiding and defending.

The word used for “meet” here is kenegdo, and it basically means matching or equal to.

When those two words are combined to create the Hebrew term ezer kenegdo, as it appears here in Genesis, the basic meaning is: “one who is the same as the other and who surrounds, protects, aids, helps, supports.” (You can find the source of that quote here: https://godswordtowomen.org/help.htm )

Isn’t that cool?

God first mentioned us wives using phraseology that He otherwise reserved for Himself or for military relationships.

Learning that made me think of it like this:

You and your husband are equal partners…

Soldiers fighting side by side in this battle called life.

(Because life is often a battle, isn’t it?) As his comrade in arms, you want him to be the very best soldier he can be. The very best man he can be.

God actually designed you, as a wife, for that purpose!

Obviously, there are many things you (and the rest of us ladies) can do to empower your beloved to be who he was created to be. Today, I will touch on just one:

Believe in him!

(And make sure he knows you believe in him.)

Encourage him with your words, public and private.

There is no greater confidence booster for a man than a wife who demonstrates confidence in him.

A man with a wife who affirms him verbally, supports him emotionally, approves of him physically, and encourages him spiritually can accomplish more than he ever dreamed possible. That man will be positioned to reach his God-given potential.

On the other hand, a man who sees doubt in his wife’s eyes, feels skepticism in her touch, and senses uncertainty in her support—that man will never become the man God intended Him to be.

So, dear cousin, as you prepare for your wedding, don’t forget to prepare to be a wife…a help meet. You are about to become your fiance’s lifelong sidekick. He needs you.

He needs you to have his back.

To stand up for him when no one else does. To believe in him when he doesn’t believe in himself.

It’s a big job. But it’s one for which you were specifically and purposefully created.

In Lysa Terkeurst’s book “Capture His Heart,” she lays out some basic concepts that the heart of most every man wants their wives to know. They are worth the read. They reinforce what we’ve talked about today. How important it is for you to strengthen your man in his role as a man. To defend him in his purpose as a husband. To build him up as your partner and your love.

She said it best here:

“…I’ve learned that a man desires his heart to be captured by his “Beauty,” his lover, his friend, his partner through thick and thin. He wants to think about the times she told him he has what it takes. He takes great pride in knowing he makes her feel safe. He reflects on whether or not she thinks he’s a good provider.”

And listen to what God has to say in Proverbs 31 as I quote Lysa’s words: “Proverbs 31:10-12 says, ‘A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Verse 23 continues, ‘Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.’

What might your husband become with your respect, support, and encouragement?”


To all my married DoAhead friends…does this speak to your heart?

We—you and I—have the power within us to empower our husbands. Let us not hold back.

What can we DoAhead today to be the help meet we were created to be?

  • What truths about our husbands can we gird our minds, so we are prepared to battle beside him—not against him—when the enemy attacks our relationship by highlighting his weaknesses…or our own insecurities?
  • What recurring criticisms can we prepare to silence and replace with grace and respect?
  • What words can we prepare to speak into our husbands’ lives?
  • What prayers can we prepare to pray over their hearts?

With our support, our defense, our help…our spouses can become the men God created and intends them to be. And when that happens, our marriages can become the marriages God created and intends them to be.

We were created as God’s warriors of love, friends. Let us soldier on!

Your DoAhead Friend,


About Dana Boyd

Dana is a lifelong lover of words with a passion for sharing stories of the heart—both her own and others. Her writings draw from her experiences as a woman, a writer, a wife, a mother of three, and a Bible-believing Jesus follower. She is a defender of truth, an avid proponent of common sense and a recovering (often relapsing) perfectionist still learning to lean in to grace. Her writing is an honest outpouring of her introverted heart, driven by a longing to inspire others to feel deeply, think critically and act compassionately. Dana shares her words as a monthly contributor at DoAhead Woman.

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